Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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