Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
