sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
