wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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