and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
