Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
