I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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