why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
how drunk are you?
Several
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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