i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
