This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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