The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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