hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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