How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize