And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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