come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
