What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
