You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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