I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
