Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
