okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Randomize
