Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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