if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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