He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
