i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
