why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
