i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
