And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
