At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
