how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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