There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
4 words: hood of his car
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
