oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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