He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sobbing to NWA
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
