is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
