also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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