it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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