I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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