You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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