if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
