What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I deserve this hangover.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
