Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
