dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
