so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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