Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
