WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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