Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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