went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL