can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
