you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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