Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Buhtt sex?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
