they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
