We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
