Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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