You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need a sexual gate keeper
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
