Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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