dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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