I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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