My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize