why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
