i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
