she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
