I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
