You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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