Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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