yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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