A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
