some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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