Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize