the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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